im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize