This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
