We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
