There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
