I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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