i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
