Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
