Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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