Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
