I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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