Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
