So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
