So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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