There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize