I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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