Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
