I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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