Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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