so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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