Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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