I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
