Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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