The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
