We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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