dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
