He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
