Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
