Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
