i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
