My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
