Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
