Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
