I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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