his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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