Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
