bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
