I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
