D3 body, D1 cock
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
