fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize