Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
