Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
