everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
