i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
