Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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