I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
