actually, I'm a sock model
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
