So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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