my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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