I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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