i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
