you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
