I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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