im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
