I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
