I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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