Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
